


Just a Woman || 1917

by Nelia0



Category: 1917 (Movie 2019)
Genre: 1917, Blake - Freeform, England (Country), F/M, France (Country), Joseph Blake - Freeform, Love, No Man's Land, Nurse - Freeform, SOLDIER - Freeform, Slow Burn, World War I, schofield - Freeform, tom blake - Freeform, will schofield - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:54:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28651593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nelia0/pseuds/Nelia0
Summary: ’she looked at her own refelction in the mirror, into those hazel eyes, knowing that the person behind those had left a long time ago.’
Relationships: George MacKay/oc, Soldier/OC, Will Schofield/oc





	1. 1. A foreign soldier

APRIL 6th  
1917  
Écoust, France

-

JOSEPHINE AVAIR never got high hopes. She'd learned that having that would just make her suffer way more. It would make her weak.

Weakness is scary. It's something you can't feel in war. It will tear you down and once it has you in a firm grip, it's hard to get rid of. Just ask those many men that survived the war and came home. Did they ever truly leave the battlefield? No. And they probably won't ever either. 

Jo wasn't a soldier. Of course not. She was a woman. The big red cross on her left arm made sure, as well, to prove just that point.

Being a nurse was something she chose to be, but also something someone like her was sort of expected to become.

With a rushed medical degree in her drawer back home and a first aid bag in her hand, she never thought she would be in such a situation.

It started when she was told to accompany three soldiers on their journey to another battalion. It all went downhill when they got to this little french town. Écoust.

The Germans were already there.

Jo didn't really know what happened to the soldiers, but she knew that the three gunshots she heard that were later led by silence told her enough. 

She herself had managed to somehow get away. In a small room, hidden under a bigger house, she stayed. It was terrifying. Truly. 

Not only was it hard enough to survive in the difficult conditions there, but she also had to stay hidden until she found a way to escape.

It had been quiet for maybe a day or two, but on the third night she heard gunshots echo through the ghost town. Running, yelling.

As soon, though, as she heard the footsteps getting closer to herself, she made her way around to the door. Picking up the one pistol she had managed to get and took it in her firm grip. She had never used it and the thought of it slightly scared her.

A loud thud could be heard as something, or someone hit the floor. Jo took a few steps back with her hands gripping tightly in front of her.

Only when she heard the click of the rifle from around the corner, did she feel her chest tightened and her palms starting to sweat.

There was nowhere for her to go.

A tall figure could be seen, still oblivious to her presence, just barely in front of her.

He was wearing a soldier's uniform, which kind was still difficult for Jo to tell. 

Her breathing suddenly stopped as his heavy gaze fell onto her. They stood there for a few seconds. The man was the first one to put down his rifle and lift his hands slightly in front of himself, in a sort of gesture to prove something. There was a slight confused look on his face.

"You're a woman?"

Josefin stood still, without answering, her eyebrows furrowed.

"I am- I'm not going to hurt you," he then said, Jo noticing his english accent. His voice was quite calm, but Jo could still sense the conflict within him.

Slowly, but surely, she put down her pistol, with her dark eyes still staring at him.

"Are- Are you english?" he soon asked with a slightly curious tone.

"Française," said Jo, watching as the realization came over him.

She noticed him staring at her uniform when he suddenly asked,  
"Are you a nurse?"

She hesitated.  
"Oui." Yes.

He didn't say anything, but did take a step closer, causing Jo to flich slightly. Her right hand pinching her left one.

She could see his face clearer now. He was quite pale. With dark rings under his blue eyes and dirty blonde hair hiding under his gray Brodie helmet.

The wave of realisations must have hit him as his eyes slightly widened and lips parted. His pupils travelled around the room as if they were searching for something.

"I need to be somewhere..." he started, his breathing becoming louder. "I need to find a wood the to South East."

Jo stared at him in silence. The questions getting built up in her head.

"Trees... les arbres?" he attempted to speak.

Jo nodded slightly and pointed out a direction.  
"The river... it leads to the trees," she spoke softly.

The man seemed slightly shocked by her english, but didn't point it out. He muttered a "yes" before putting his hand against his head and closing his eyes. 

Jo noticed the blood on his hands. She looked down and saw how it had been splattered on her apron as well. A sigh left her lips as she tried to as neatly as she possibly could, straighten out her sea blue uniform.

While looking up, she took notice of how the man in front of her seemed to be in pain.

"Sit, please," she spoke, gesturing to the small chair behind him.

He surprisingly did so. Jo took a few steps closer and looked at the sensitive spot, he'd just held his hand against.

"What- What are you going to do?" he asked.

"My job," said Jo before picking up her medical bag as well as a cloth that was in her pocket. After slightly wetting the cloth, she gently placed it against the injured part of his skull and applied minimal pressure to it. 

The man's shoulder fell and he closed his eyes as Jo gave him comfort. When she carefully parted his damp hair and found the small jack beneath it, she felt him flinch.

"Pardonne moi," she murmured as she gently cleaned away the blood. ’I'm sorry.’

The soldier seemed to calm down as he slowly but surely relaxed against the young woman's touch. They stayed there for a while. His breathing becoming slower and Jo continued cleaning his wound.

After a few minutes he opened his eyes. He turned his head, making Jo put down the now blood soaked cloth. He stared into her eyes before speaking up.

"Thank you."

A small smile made its way to her lips.  
"Aider les gens," she said. "It's what I do."

She gently let go of the cloth and turned away to find some water. When she opened up the top of the barrel she took a cup she'd found in one of the drawers earlier.

"What is your name, miss?"

Jo turned around, holding the cup in both of her hands. She slowly walked over to him, focusing on not spilling any water and then handing it to him. She felt his quite obvious stare as she did so.

"Josephine."

The man didn't answer, but took a long sip from the beverage he held. Jo figured he probably was dehydrated from the long days and exhausting time spent here.

"Et toi?" she then asked.

He looked up at her and scratched the side of his face awkwardly. 

"Er- Schofield. William Schofield, miss," he answered, earning a quick nod from the young woman. He looked at her and suddenly became very self aware over his dirty and blood soaked clothes. During a failed attempt to get the mud of his face, he found himself giving up.

A silence fell between them. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, but only an amount of time for them both to find their thoughts.

Williams' eyes scanned the room. It was tiny and he wondered for how long the girl had been in there alone. Even more did he wonder how she got there. The lands above them were occupied by the Germans at the moment. Maybe that was why she hadn't left, he thought. 

He found himself staring at her again, as she had once again had turned away from him to do something. It was an unfamiliar view. The presence of a woman was something he hadn't had in a long time. 

"You must have an important role, Monsieur," said Jo then, causing William to fall out of his thoughts. He stared at her for a few seconds before understanding what just had left her mouth.

"Yes." He turned away in embarrassment towards the unknowingly ignorant nurse.

As the thought hit him, he got up, causing the nurse to straighten her pose and turning her full body against him.

"I need to leave."

Her face dropped. Never had she thought that the thought of him leaving her would make her chest tightened like that. Her lips parted as she watched him hang the rifle over his arm and adjust his helmet.

"Please let me go with you."

William furrowed his eyebrows, the thoughts in his head turning against each other.

"I need to leave. I'll do anything to help. Je ne peux pas ici." She noticed the hint of desperation in her own voice, but decided to ignore it.

He stayed still and quiet. Still with his eyes on her face.

"It-," he stopped, truly lost for answers. Not knowing what to say.

"Where's the way out of this?" he then asked, ignoring his own thoughts.

Jo pointed towards the door on the opposite side of the room. William turned towards the direction she pointed and started walking, leaving her standing still, watching him.

Taking a firm grip around the knob, he looked back towards the girl.

"You can come," he said, leaving no time for himself to debate his own choice.

He watched as the ends of her lips tilted just so slightly upwards. Her fist tightening as a feeling of relief came over her.

"Thank you," she breathed out. "Thank you so much."


	2. 2. German bullets

WILL TURNED BACK towards the entrance and pushed through the doorway. Jo was quick to fetch her medical bag and followed close after. Damaged wooden stairs lead them to the lighter place above. Will nearly tripped over the remains of the house they just had been under.

He peers along the empty street and turns around the corner. They stayed in the shadow as Jo followed closely behind him. She felt her heart pounding in her chest, but didn't let any words leave her mouth.

The town was offly silent and she could only wait for the Germans to jump out of their hiding spots and get them. 

Suddenly there was a man in the distance. Jo recognized the german uniform from that far away and could only watch as he vomited up onto the street. He murmured and laughed to himself as William grabbed Jo's arm and dragged her to the side. 

In front of them was a blown up building, with severe walls and windows missing from the original building. The school assembly was still slightly visible from Jo and Will's point of view. 

In the middle of what seemed to be a camp for the german soldiers, was a fire. Bags and empty beer bottles layed on the cold floor around it.

The two of them stayed silent as they both scanned the room, still hearing the pathetic moans from the soldier outside. 

Then, a young man, not much older than Jo came out of the shadows. Their eyes met for a split second as they stood only a couple feet from each other. It was another german soldier. Horror filled his eyes as he opened his mouth to yell for help. He was stopped though once William's hand had been placed over his mouth, pushing him into one of the pillars with full force.

They stayed there for a few seconds, Will's dirty hands covering pressing harder by the second. Stopping any sound from coming out of his mouth. He then held his own finger against his lips, gesturing for the man to stay quiet.

Jo watched as the man quickly nodded in response.

As William slowly loosened his grip, Jo could already sense what was going to happen. The man took a deep breath.

"Engländer!"

Both of them reacted quickly. William pressing his hand, once again against his face, causing the man to gag. They both fell onto the ground, letting the echo of their sound surrounding the building.

Jo bent down quickly and tried to help William to hold the german man's hands as he pressed all he could against his throat. 

She noticed the knife suddenly appearing in the germans hand and she was quick on trying to rip it out of his grip, causing the two soldiers to roll onto their side.

A low struggling groan left his mouth as Jo suddenly heard footprints approaching them behind them. Her head whipped around as she watched the same man from before, clearly drunk, talking to what seemed like the man the two of them were pressing against the ground.

Jo's mediocre german listened as the man complained about the situation. Her eyes watched him silently as he slumped over, onto the ground with the empty bottles, letting a loud breath escape his nostrils.

The muffling noise continued as the young soldier put his hand against Williams chest in a last attempt to make him stop. Jo could still hear the drunken voice in the distance ask pointless questions which he got no answer to.

Her heart stopped when she suddenly noticed his gaze being directed towards them. It was still too dark for him to watch what was going on there in the shadows, but Jo knew that they would have to leave very soon.

"Baumer. Wo ist..? Baumer?!"

William must have also heard the voice because at the same moment, Jo watched him flinch at the german words.

The man, seemingly Baumer, desperately started kicking, clawing and trying his absolute best, though the weakness building up, to get away from Williams strong grip.

"Baumer?" the voice from behind them continued mumbling towards them. Slow steps echoing the bare walls.

In a sudden, baumers arms fell limp onto the ground. A last gasp- and then silence.

Williams quickly got up, leaving his rifle behind him and leapt out of the shadows with Jo behind him. They headed straight past the confused soldier standing there, too quickly for his tipsy mind to react.

"Baumer!" he yelled as they soon started running out on the street, nothing to stop the weapons that were soon to be pointed at them.

"Englander! Englander!" They heard yells from behind, but had their faces stayed pointed forwards.

Jo struggled slightly as the heavy cotton dress on her definitely wasn't meant for running. She used her hands and took the armfull of the fabric into her arms and tried as fast as she could to make it forwards.

Jo watched as a bullet, with quick force, was shot, only a few feet in from them. They all slightly jumped at the sound as William turned his head to watch the source.

Just before, a sudden man that had appeared in front of them, aimed his rifle and shot at the two. Jo managed to grab William's arm, dragging him down a narrow alley. They started running down the crooked street. Hearing as the Germans footsteps echoed behind them.

To their left was a corner that they quickly went down. 

Both of them were offly silent as there was no time to even think. 

When they arrived at some stone steps, they quickly went down, two or three steps at a time.

They continued running for as far as they could. Trying to ignore the soldiers behind them that would open fire at them at any time.   
And that's just what they did.

Jo got dragged to the side ungracefully, closely tripping over her own sore feet. Bullets cracking off the cobbles just in front of them.

Yet they continued sprinting their fastest.

Jo noticed how they got closer to a bridge, a couple yards in front of them. Only did she realize what William was about to do when he grabbed her arm and dragged her with him over the edge.

They must have fallen forty feet when they suddenly landed through the hard water surface. A splash and then everything became dark.


	3. 3. I’m going there

JO FELT HERSELF becoming heavier and heavier. If only she wasn't wearing that bloody dress. The cotton pulled her down like a leaf in the wind. Reaching out for anything that would stop her from sinking while quickly running out of air.

She felt a hand grabbing hers and starting to pull her upwards slowly. When she finally reached the surface, everything spun around her. She gasped for air and waved with her arms in an attempt to get the situation in controle, but failing. The stream was strong, dragging her with it.

"It's okay. It's okay," the voice of William spoke to her. She looked around breathing loudly, kicking hardly to stay above the water level.

She felt his hand on her face as he made her look him into the eyes.

"It's- we're safe now." he tried speaking as softly as he could, in a quiet manner while looking at her face. Yet he seemed just as out of breath as she was.

Jo stayed silent, as their bodies continued being swepped down the stream. William had caught a branch that had been floating by and held onto it as Jo had her own steady grip around his arm.

They stayed there for a minute or two as they now slowly went down the calm waters.  
The cold caused Jo's feet to become numb and her caughes left her throat dry. A low sound could be heard in front of them, but neither showed any signs of making an effort to see the source of it.

Jo stared at William as panic flashed onto his face. He tried to grab onto any nearby rock or other branch in an act to get to the side, but the stream was too strong. They got caught into the speed and only then did Jo see the waterfall.

It was too late for her to react when they were swung over the edge, losing each other's grip and landing in the water with a splash.

Jo managed to grab a rock and pull herself upwards. Her eyes slightly widened as she turned to look for William. He wasn't there. Her dark pupils tried searching for his figure under the water, but it was far too dark under there for her to see anything at all.

A few long moments lasted when she suddenly saw something as it resurfaced the cold water, gasping for air. Jo tried to get closer to Will, but had a hard time. The river was both wider and calmer where they now were.

She noticed they way his eyes darted, telling her that he probably had hit his head and was severely exhausted. Almost only his face was above the surface, staring up into the sky.

White petals washed by them. He raised his arm, letting the small leaves clinging onto his skin.

Jo struggled to keep herself above water while watching him from a few feet behind.

"Lance-" a gurgling sound braught Will back as the woman's face got pulled under the surface. He saw her hand stretching towards empty air and did his best to get to her. 

Once again, she was above water, taking a big breath and coughing loudly. She made an attempt to speak, but stopped mid sentence, noticing that she had nothing to say.

The sun was rising somewhere, glancing in between the trees that were coming nearer and nearer to the two of them.

Jo could feel her body relax just so slightly at the sight.

That was until she saw the bodies. 

They were about twelve of them, give or take. Soldiers, both english and german, as well as civilians; both men and women. They had all been gathered into a pile, blocked by a fallen tree from floating any further down the stream.

William tried his best to get up from the water, struggling as he did so. He then took Jo's hand and dragged her with him. Will gets onto the ground and stumbled his first steps. 

He stood there before collapsing onto his knees. He stayed silent, with Jo behind him, staring into nowhere and letting it all sink in.

Jo felt her lips trembling, she closed her eyes for a second and sat down across from him. She looked up and their eyes met. Hazel and blue. She struggled to keep her feelings down, but could still feel the tingling sensation in her throat.

The both breathed loudly, letting the fresh air fill their water drained lungs. 

Jo's dark and wavy hair was damp and now hanging loosely compared to its previous state, reaching down her shoulders as the small drops of water ran down her wet back.

"Thank you," she breathed out gently and quietly. "Pour tout." For everything.

Will let out a breath, still looking at her face, clearly struggling to, just like her, conseal his emotions. 

But then, suddenly. He brought his arms forward and wrapped them around her, bringing her surprised body close to his and holding her tightly. Her hands fell naturally around him as well and stroked his back, just so gently.

It was as if holding onto her would keep him together, like she was the bridge in between the way he was and simply falling apart.

A small sob escaped her lips and her eyes filled with tears. She felt his heavy warm breathing against the cold, wet skin in her neck and there they sat. Silently.

Moments went by, until Jo let go. Will leaned back and pulled himself off the ground. He then reached for Jo's hand and helped her up.

The grass was soft and Jo almost felt the urge to take off her own uncomfortable shoes and walk barefooted. She decided against that though.

She noticed a noise coming from the near distance. It was singing. A soft male voice echoed past the trees.

The two of them start walking towards the sound, slowly but surely. Still in quite shock from their earlier experience. William slightly stumbled, but didn't fall. His frozen limbs forcing themselves to move towards the sound.

The trees were getting more and more, but neither of them took much notice of it.

Jo could figure out if the singing was real or if it was just her head messing with her. Yet, sooner or later she managed to make out words-

"... there's no sickness, toil, nor danger. In that bright land which I go..."

In front of them, Jo saw a group of men, soldiers sitting around watching something. The source of the voice. A young man, standing up. Singing.

"I'm going there to see my Father. And all my loved ones who've gone on."

William stopped, causing Jo to stop as well. He leaned against a tree and slowly slumped down with his back giving him support. She fell down onto the ground without much care also. Her head fell onto Williams shoulder as she closed her eyes.

" I'm only going over Jordan. 

I'm only going over home."


	4. 4. Just me

JO DIDN'T EVEN NOTICED when the song had ended. Neither the applause that came after it. A captains yell at the soldiers for them to start moving sounded like an echo in the back of her mind and nothing more came to her notice.

Only did she move when she felt a sudden hand eruptly shaking her shoulder.

"Miss?" Her eyes travelled upwards and met the ones of an unfamiliar face. A soldier.

"Where are you from?" another voice seemed to ask William. 

They both stayed silent, watching the people in front of them. Jo still had an arm wrapped around Williams and her head gently placed on his shoulder.

"They probably got the wind up," yet another voice spoke up.

"Well, they're not one of ours."

One of the men took a grip around Jo's free arm and shocked it to the side, probably searching for a flag or anything useful for them to interpret. 

"She's a nurse," he stated "She could be useful."

"Fuck it, let's just pick them up and take them with us."

Jo's eyes looked over onto Will. He blinked before very faintly speaking up.  
"Have to find the Devons."

"What's he saying?" one of the soldiers asked another.

"The Devons. I have to find the Devons," Will continued, slightly louder this time. Jo lifted her head and turned her head slightly to meet his eyes.

A silence fell as the soldiers looked at each other.

"We're the Devons," said one.

William watches them, a look of disbelief on his pale face."You're the Devons?" he asked.

"Yes, Corp."

Jo let go of his arm as well and looked up at the others once again.

"Why haven't you gone over yet?" Will asked.

"We're the second wave. They don't send us all at once," the man next to him answered.

"We're D company, we spent last night digging in. We go last," another one continued.

William pulled himself off the ground and stumbled onto his feet. His hand goes to his tonic pocket and he picks out an envelope. Jo followed close after, being offered a hand from one of the soldiers as she did so. Her head was in terrible pain and her feet were soor. Just standing still felt like walking on knives.

"Are you alright?" a man asked Will, staring at him.

"McKenzie. Where's Colonel McKenzie?" Will breathed out.

"He's down the line," the man next to Jo answered.

"Which way?"

"This way. We're headed up there now."

Will's eyes slightly widened. His gaze moved to where the soldiers that earlier sat down now were walking. Hundreds of men, all going to the trenches.

He then quickly turned and started run-walking towards them. His eyes staring forward as he tried shoving and pushing himself forward in the queue.

Jo stumbled as she tried to follow him. When seeing him disappear into the crowd she felt someone grab her upper arm. Her head whipped around.

"Miss, you probably shouldn't go there," one of the soldiers that had just talked to them pointed out.

Jo stopped, unsure of how to act in the moment. The man was right. She shouldn't follow William. He knew whatever he needed to do.

The questions left whas though;   
What does she do now?

She must have stood there long enough for her to be seen, because soon she heard someone call for her.

"Hey!" she turned towards the sound and saw a woman standing there. Next to her was another, seemingly younger girl. They were both staring at Jo as she slowly made her way towards them, trying to not run into any passing by soldier.

"Who are you?" asked the woman. She seemed to be in her mid 40's with dark hair and pale blue eyes. The girl next to her wore a similar attire as Jo, with a red cross on her upper left arm and a blue dress. The biggest difference was that she hadn't been drenched in water from head to toe.

"I'm- Josephine Avair. France," Jo tried as the woman furrowed her eyebrows.

"I didn't know there were french soldiers here."

"There aren't," Jo pointed out. "It's just... me."

The dark haired woman stared her up and down, causing her to feel extremely conscious about her appearance, before speaking up.

"Well, we need people like you." She turned towards the young girl. "Rosie, take her to the medical tents."

The girl nodded. Her green eyes meeting Jo's for a second and then turning around swiftly. 

The medical tents were horrific. Jo had almost forgotten what it was like, but then all the memories came back.

She remembered watching to others bring in soldier after soldier, all disturbed with blood, wounds, and sometimes parts missing from their body. It was truly horrible. Constantly having to hear the loud noise as they screamed out in pain.

This wasn't the same, yet the likeness was slightly uncomfortable.

The instincts kicked in and she went forwards to the soldiers. There weren't many nurses and she understood the others telling her that people like her were needed. There were way too many wounded men.

It all became blurry after that. Trapped into her own bubble, everything around her barely reaching her. All her focus being directed towards the people on the medical beds.

There was blood on her hands. Like she had before, but before it disappeared when they got into the lake. It ran down her arm and dropped onto the floor, causing a slight noise to constantly distract her from her doing.

She had done the same thing for over a year now, yet this was different. She was shaking.  
But it wasn't because of the situation. She still hadn't fully recovered from earlier. The ear piercing noise from the pistols still ringed in her ear,   
it wouldn't stop. 

Some soldiers tried to talk to her. Seeking comfort in the only thing that would listen. She tried her best, but it was hard. Her pulse was high and her legs unsteady.

Constantly telling herself to keep awake, keep alert. That she was needed.   
That this was her job and that it was important.

Breath.


	5. 5. Stay

APRIL 9th  
1917  
The Second Battalion

-

IT HAD BEEN TWO DAYS. The first one was restless, full of confusion and misunderstanding. She couldn't sleep. Everything else was hard enough for that.

She hadn't talked with anyone that much. Only some injured soldiers or the other nurses, which there weren't very many of.

Other than that, her days seemed quite gray. The same thing, the same routine, the same thoughts. It was hard for her to imagine a world outside war. Almost unthinkable.

It had been going on for so many years that now that was normal. Feeling safe wasn't.

It was hard thinking about home so Jo tried to stop herself from doing just that. The family. The house. It was pictured so clearly in her mind.

She could almost say that she was afraid to get home. The fact that things had changed.   
To the worse.

Not only could she not imagine opening the front door to their childhood home, step inside and hug her father, but the fact that she had to stare into her mothers tearful eyes from losing Fred. Josephine's brother.

He was only two years older than her and one of the reasons that Jo came here for the first place. He was a good person. Extremely kind and witty.   
Yet that letter still came that one spring.

Their mother could only read the first words before breaking down into sobs.

'It is with the deepest regret we inform you that your son Corporal Frédéric J Avair was killed in action on the seventh March from wounds received while on combat operation while...'

That had been the first time Jo had seen her father cry.

Jo's other older brother André, was on duty on the French coast, Saint-Malo, at the time and Jo still hadn't seen him since then. A few weeks later they got a letter from him.

She couldn't even read it.   
She already knew what it was about. 

Now it was only her and André left.

-

"Josephine?"

She turned around and looked at Rosie. Her pretty dirty blonde hair was put up in a neat style and her clothes looked so much cleaner than the Jo's.

She was quite nice, a bit too much sometimes. Jo remembered noticing the other nurses rolling their eyes at her enthusiasm from time to time. It didn't really bother her though. It was nice hearing some positive words sometimes.   
The Americans had entered the war only a short time ago and according to her; she was one of the first ones to sign up as voluntary nurses.

"Eh- Yes?" Jo said.

"Would you like something to eat? They've brought sandwiches to the C tent," she asked so innocently.

Jo opened her mouth and looked down for a moment. She had been asked the same question so many times and she had always answered 'no, thank you'. It had become such a habit for her to decline help that she almost was surprised by the fact that she didn't say no immediately.

She let out a breath and pressed her lips together into a smile. For once.

"Sure. Why not?"

Rosie smiled and started walking towards the C tent.

There were tables and chairs, occupied by mostly military officers and Commanders sitting there and offly few soldiers. Jo remembered one of the sergeants telling another that the soldiers were too busy in their own trauma to eat.   
It must be true. Even she herself hadn't eaten properly in a long time.

She sat down hesitantly and took one of the sandwiches that was offered to her. Just ham and bread. It was hard to eat. Dry and bland, but better than nothing.

Rosie continued talking with her. She almost felt bad for the girl because of how bad of a talker Jo had become. She stayed silent almost the whole time, deep into her own thoughts. Only nodding and smiling to Rosies words every now and then.

"Where in France are you from, Josephine?" she asked.

Jo had been chewing on the same piece of bread for a long time. Unable to swallow it.   
She looked up.

"We used to live in Lyon," she answered quietly. "And you?"

"I'm from Tennessee," she answered. Jo nodded and smiled softly, knowing that she had never heard about that place before.

"Tell me about your family." Jo was almost surprised by her own voice speaking up. It sounded unfamiliar, even to herself.

Rosie took a bite from her sandwich.  
"So there's me, mom, dad and my sister Sandra. We live in the countryside in a white house. My cousins actually live on the west coast, but..."

Jo sat still, but had her eyes focused on the people entering the tent. They were sitting at the tables with their uniform jackets. It was interesting knowing that all those people had their own story. It may sound cheesy, but something about it intrigued the young girl.

She didn't even notice that Rosie had asked her a question. She looked up at her with big eyes.

"Huh?"

Rosie chuckled.  
"I asked about your family."

Jo felt her chest tightening at the words. Her eyes looked across the room and noticed a man approaching them. Using her opportunity to avoid any more attention towards herself, she got up, facing the man.

"Sir?" she asked, smiling politely.   
Hurting inside.

The man had dark hair and blue eyes that stared back at Jo's. Rosie got up as well, but slower.

"Do you speak french?" he asked blankly.

Jo blinked.  
"I am french, sir."

"Well, Mrs Mary needs you then," he said, nodding towards another medical tent in the distance. Jo couldn't see anyone, but could imagine Mrs Mary standing on the inside with her arms crossed. She was an unusual, but Jo could also understand why a person like her would join the red cross.

Rosie asked if she was to follow them, but was kindly declined and then later told by a commander to get back to her position. She nodded and then waved a small goodbye to Jo.

Just as Jo had thought, stood Mrs Mary there. She wore the same sort of uniform as every other nurse, but something about her presence and piercing stare made her stick out. She was in her late 30's and had a small streak of gray hair, falling loose against her otherwise black updo.

"We have a french soldier. I think his name is Julian. Doesn't speak a word english and we need to get him to speak," she said.

Jo stood still, a bit surprised.

"Alright," she murmured to the woman.

Mrs Mary turned away her gaze towards a bed a few metres away. There was a man there. He laid on his back, with a bandage wrapped around his head and had his deep sunken eyes close.

Jo slowly made her way towards him. When she was maybe two feet away from him, he opened his eyes and looked at her.

"Bonjour."


	6. 6. The french girl

"BONJOUR, MONSIEUR," said Jo, sitting down at the chair next to the bed. She let out a breath and put her hands in her lap.

"Ça va?" he asked her. 

"Bien, merci," she said and Julian nodded. 

Jo thought for a second, wondering how she was going to handle the situation, but was stopped when she heard him speak up.

"Je pense qu'ils essaient de me tuer," he said blankly. ’I think they're trying to kill me.’

Jo furrowed her eyebrows and scoffed under her breath.  
"Personne n'essaye de te tuer. Sauf peut -être les Allemands." ‘No one is trying to kill you. Except maybe the Germans.’

"Mais ils ne sont pas ici pour le moment," she continued, chuckling. ‘But they are not here at the moment.’

The corners of his mouth tilted upwards and he leaned back into his pillow.

"Pourquoi es-tu ici?" he then asked. ‘Why Are you here?’ Jo stayed still, looking at him. "Vous n'étiez pas placé ici, non?" he continued. ‘You weren't placed here, right?’

She straightened her pose and thought for a second.

"Ce n'est pas à propos de moi," she said. ‘This is not about me.’

"Really?" he asked. Jo stared at him with a knowing look.

"On dirait que tu peux parler anglais après tout." she spoke, leaning back and crossing her arms. ‘Seems like you can speak english after all.’

"I don't want to. The english are so full of themselves," he muttered with a noticeable strong french accent shining through.

Jo sighed, pressing her lips together and looking at him. How charming, she thought.

"Ce n'est pas important," she said. ‘That doesn't matter.’

The man chuckled and turned his gaze towards the ceiling. A silence fell in between them, yet for only a few seconds before Jo turned towards him once again.

"How did you come here?" she asked, remembering that she had to get information out of him.

The man opened one eye and looked at her.

"J'ai rencontré des britanniques et ils m'ont amené ici." ‘I ran into some brits and they brought me here.’ 

It was a simple answer and it didn't make her very satisfied.

She looked down and nodded slightly.  
"Et d'où viens tu?" she murmured. ‘And where are you from?’

"Au début, j'ai été placé à Saint-Malo."

Saint-Malo. Jo looked up immediately, causing him to open both his eyes and stare at her. He was placed in Saint-Malo.

"Saint-Malo?" she asked eruptly and he nodded slowly.

"Connaissez-vous le sergent Avair?" she continued. It was André. Jo needed to know if he was alright. And if this man was from the same place then he could know a thing or two about it.

Julians gaze lasted on her for a few long seconds. A wondering look in his eye.

"Oui." Yes.

Jo's chest lifted and she let out a relieved breath.  
"Est-il..?" she zoomed of. Having it hard asking the actual question. ‘Is he..?’

"Il est vivant pour ce que je sais," he answered. ‘He's alive for what I know.’

She closed her eyes and leaned back into the chair. He was alright. Thank goodness. 

"How come?" he asked.

"C'est mon frère. Je n'ai pas eu de ses nouvelles depuis des semaines." Her voice was low, thinking about how is face would occupy her mind.  
‘He's my brother. I haven't heard from him in months.’

He nodded and turned his face towards her, a curious look in his eye.

"Comment tu t'appelles, Mademoiselle?" he then asked. ‘What's your name, miss?’

Jo hesitated, but figured that he would just ask any other nurse for her name.

"Josephine."

He then smiled for the first time causing Jo to do the same and lean slightly forward. Getting a better look at him and fixing the bandage that was wrapped around his head. Brushing away the dark hair that was under it.

Maybe he wasn't so bad.

-

William laid still in the grass. His pale blue eyes staring up into the sky.

It had taken him a day to realize that the journey actually was over. He delivered the message to Colonel McKenzie, yet it didn't feel like it. As soon as he closed eyes it was all still there; the Germans, the dead bodies, Blake.

He hadn't left. How could he? The murmuring motors from the planes still could be heard as they flew over the dead plains and the gunshots still echoed through his mind. 

It all became a blur. Unsure if everything was real or not. His ears were continuously beeping and his brain wouldn't let him go to sleep without forcing nightmares to become the new reality for him.

And then there was her. He didn't know where she was or what happened to her when he left. He kept reminding himself of her. Every time he saw a nurse in their uniform he hoped it was her face he would see when they turned around.

It never was.

He didn't ask anyone or bother to truly look for her. Yet he always felt the urge to do just that. 

She had been there too after all.

He got up, looking around for no appearent reason. A medical tent was close to him and without much thinking started walking towards it. He a took a grip around the piece of white fabric that was hanging as the enter and went inside.

The tent wasn't as busy as it usually was. He didn't know what he would do in there, until he saw a small woman standing by a wounded soldier and checking his blood pressure. He slowly approached her and watched as she looked up.

"I- Do you know where- is there a nurse named, eh, Josephine here?" he asked awkwardly.

She stared at him for a second with a confused look before speaking up.

"The french girl?" she asked and Will nodded, a weight lifting from his shoulders. 

"Well, she's over there, I think," she said pointing towards a direction, blocked by some people.

He muttered a 'Thank you' and started walking towards where she had pointed. Making his way around and then finally getting there.

In the corner of the room she sat. Next to her, in the bed layed a wounded soldier and they seemed to be talking. He didn't know what they were saying, but it was enough for her to smile at the man.

She looked about the same, except slightly neater. Her hair was put up in a bun and the apron, hanging around her waist was ofly clean. Her hands weren't covered in blood and the cut on her face from the first time he met her was now gone. She was very beautiful, even though Will would barely admit that to himself.

He stared at her for a little too long for himself to admit, before taking a step nearer.  
He had absolutely no clue what he was going to say.


	7. 7. The silence

APRIL 10th  
1917  
The Second Battalion

-

JO HAD TURNED HER HEAD when she heard the gentle footsteps behind her. Julian's face had dropped and he now shamelessly stared up at the person standing there.

When she actually saw William, everything felt weird. Almost a deja vu type moment, leading her to wonder if everything they went through was real after all.

"Hello."

Eyes were met, and a hint of curiousity betrayed her otherwise casuall gaze. William stayed quiet, staring at her, nowing that he wasn't nearly as good as hiding his expressions as she was.

There was something in those eyes.

"Qui est-il?" Jo could hear Julian's voice behind her, but she didn't answer. ’Who is he?’

"How are you?" William then asked her, forcing himself to speak, already regretting his decision.

Jo turned completely, now her body fully facing him as she sat on the same chair as earlier.

"I'm quite alright, thank you," she answered, pressing her lips together. 

A silence fell between them. And that would have lasted a lot longer if Julian didn't nudge at Jo's dress. One gentle time and then one slightly harder when he wouldn't get her attention.

"Me diras-tu?" he asked. ’Are you going to tell me?’

Will looked down at the man in the medical bed and stared at him for a second. A plain look upon his pale face. He didn't recognize him, but by the language he was speaking Will figured that he was french as well.

"Allez-vous nous excuser?" Jo mumbled to Julian. ’Will you excuse us?’ 

She didn't wait for an answer, but got up and took a step closer to Will. She heard a grunt behind her, but ignored it.

"Come," she told Will softly and walked towards the end of the tent.

-

The air was chilly and the sky was a smokey gray. Will let out a breath and put his dirty hands into his pockets. Jo crossed her arms behind her back and straightened her pose.

"Did you finnish your duty?" she asked as they were walking on the small path leading nowhere in particular. 

"I... I did," William answered. Staring in front of him with her on his right side. He thought back to it, but stopped himself. He knew it wouldn't lead him into a good place.

"And are you feeling alright?" she continued, giving him a side glance.

He blinked.  
"Well, I'm not dead yet," he said.

She nodded. Was that a smile?

His eyes widened just so slightly when he felt her hand travelling up to his forehead, removing the strands of hair there, now leaving the bruise quite visible.

"Qu'est-il arrivé?" she asked softly, her question being directed to the wound. ’What happened?’

"It's just a scratch," he said. He hadn't taken much notice to it until that moment. 

"Well, I could take a look at it tomorrow."

William turned his gaze forward and pressed together his lips, unsure of how to handle the situation as well as possible. Simply letting it go and agreeing silently.

The grounds they were walking on were mostly empty. The trees in the distance were now far away leaving the trenches looking quite dead.

"How long will you be here?" he then asked, looking at Jo from the corner of his eye.

"Je ne sais pas vraiment," she said. I don't really know. "But I know I'll probably be moved within a couple weeks."

His jaw clenched, but nothing more.  
Why? How could he know?

They continued walking on the path. Speaking every now and then. It wasn't uncomfortable in any way and after Rosie had been hanging around Jo's neck for the past days, it almost felt relaxing for her. 

The silence.

-

"Maintenant, je comprends," Julian said looking at Jo as she looked through the drawers of the table a few metres from his bed. Now I understand.

"De quoi parles-tu?" she murmured back, her back facing him. ’What are you talking about?’

"Je comprends pourquoi ça ne te dérange pas les Britanniques." I understand why you don't mind the brits.

Jo turned around, staring at him with her eyebrows knitted together. "Hein?" Huh?

An unreadable look came onto his face. His eyes giving out mixed emotions, hid by the small smile on his lips. He didn't answer her questioned look, but simply stared at her. 

She quickly went back to what she was doing, a frown replacing her otherwise neutral expression. 

She knew that Julian sooner or later could get out of this medical tent. He had fractured his skull and had a slight concussion, but that was days ago and he had had time to heal.

He still seemed talkative and would try to ask Jo about herself, only to meet a dead end. 

Her family would come up as well.

Didn't people have anything else to talk about?

She didn't want to think about them. She didn't want to have the thought of them being hurt surround her all day, every day. That would just make her go crazy.

Sometimes it's better to live in the moment. Even if that moment is much louder and bloodier.

"Pourquoi es-tu venu ici, mon amour?" Julian asked. ’Why did you come here, love?’

She sighed, turning around once again and staring at him. Trying to be as polite as possible.

"Pourquoi avez-vous tant de questions sur moi?" she asked. ’Why do you have so many questions about me?’

"Because I want to know."

That wasn't an answer to Jo and definitely not the one she wanted, but she didn't bother to care. Julian wasn't annoying, but he was nosy. It probably didn't bother her as much as it should have, but he was also a nice person. Someone to have small talk with.

Someone from home.

She also figured that she probably found comfort in the presence of someone like her.

"My brother, Frédéric. He was a soldier," said Jo after a moment of silence between the two.

She wasn't looking at Julian, but could feel his gaze upon her. There was no going back now.

"-Et il ne reviendra pas à la maison." ’-And he's not coming home.’

She finally turned around and looked at the wounded soldier. An attempt of a smile, placed on her lips, but there was nothing to smile about.

"Et je pensais que je pourrais peut-être empêcher que cela arrive à quelqu'un d'autre." ’And I thought that that I maybe could stop that from happening to anyone else.’

Julians dark stare was obvious and he stayed silent for an offly long time while looking at her. Jo didn't really mind it.

"Tu me rappelles ma fille que je connaissais," he spoke softly. ’You remind me of a girl I once knew.’

The nurse remained still. 

"Elle était aussi très gentille," he continued. ’She was also very kind.’ 

Jo breathed out her flared nostrils, her face not bothering to hide anything more.

"Et Belle."

’And beautiful.’

Julian closed his mouth. He blinked and looked away for a second.

"J'aurais aimé la chérir davantage."

’I wish I would have cherished her more.’


	8. 8. To you

APRIL 11th   
1917  
The Second Battalion

-

WILLIAM CAME BY the next day. The sun was high upon the sky as Jo stood by her table. Baskets full of bandages and other medical applies laying still by her feet. In her hands were papers. Letters.

They had been demolished after being in her front pocket for too many days and though her greatest attempt; she couldn't get the blood and mud stains away. One in particular.

It wasn't much of a letter, but it was from her mother. She had received it a couple weeks ago and it was enough for her to put a smile on her face.

It contained greetings from home and news her family had gotten lately. There was nothing about André, but Jo made sure to ignore that.

She was far into her own thoughts when the sounds of steps in front of her disturbed the silence. She automatically looked up at Will's blue eyes- staring at him a little too long. 

"William."

He was wearing his same uniform. He looked just as pale and with his eyes slightly widened at her voice.

"Hello," the corner of his lips twiching as he spoke.

"Ça va?" Jo asked. "How are you?" She took a step forward. Fixing and flattening it out her apron casually.

"I'm... well," he answered and she nodded.

"Always good to hear."

He smiled to himself when her eyes left him. Watching as she picked up a small flask with clear liquid in it as well a cloth.

He took his time, sitting down at the medical bed closest to him waiting. She turned around and walked to him. She carefully brushed away his hair and observed the small jack that was under his left hairline. Her eyes left his skin and went to spill a small amount of liquid on the light cloth.

"This might sting."

Will looked up at her and nodded slightly.

It did sting. He felt his jaw clenching and lips pressing together. Like salt in a wound, yet not bad enough for him to say anything about it.

Jo let go of the cloth and let out a breath. She stared at William and he noticed her being still.

She knew she needed to say something. Something that actually meant something. It was not like they just met.

"I just thought that-," she stopped herself and pressed her lips together, looking up to avoid those eyes of his, knowing that she would admit too much.

"I just thought I'd say thank you."

Will opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. He knew what she was talking about. And he remembered all of it too.

"It's alright," he mumbled. "It's- good."

He closed his mouth and smiled a small smile. A genuine one that was enough for Jo's heart to lighten just so slightly.

No more words from her came after that. Yet there wasn't any need. Everything was kept in her eyes, and somehow- he knew.

"Do- would you mind if I wrote to you?" he then suddenly asked bluntly. Jo blinked and had a stumbled look on her face. "When you're being moved, I mean."

He stared at her and it didn't make sense. At least not there and then. Jo could only stare at him.

"No," she then said, rather quickly. She was probably just as surprised by his words as Will himself.

He felt his chest filling with air and his shoulders relaxing. Why was the thought of it so comforting?

She was just a girl.

"Do you have any other wounds, William?"

He noticed her speaking his name. Rolling of her tongue in a clean manner. Sounding soft, and kind coming from her, yet unfamiliar.

"Nothing... serious, no."

The nurse nodded and looked over to her side of a second. The sun was shining through the light material covering the ceiling, revealing the light blue sky.

"Where are you from?" she then asked, not knowing anything else to bring up.

Will thought for a second. He adjusted his helmet in his hands restlessly. "It's a small town called Burford," he answered. "And you, miss?"

Jo turned aruptly towards the soldier, her eyes shifting.

"It's Josephine to you, or Jo. Whatever you prefer."

He blinked.  
"Where do you come from... Josephine?" he asked.

Her cheeks roundes as she smiled slightly. She was aware of her facial state- wondering if it all was for show.

"I grew up in Lyon. It's a city south-east from here." She thought back of the memories of living in the beautiful city. She dearly missed it.

William didn't know about it, but something about the fact that she said it made him think it must be the most wondrous place upon earth. Her home. He'd try to see it one day.

"Sounds lovely," he said, admiring her smiling face. Somehow drawn to it and unable to let her hazel eyes leave his.

"It is."

Will shifted in his seat.

"How is your family back home?" Jo then asked him.

He froze for a second. The word, being unfamiliar after such a long period of time. That he even had a family. Of course he did. He just couldn't bring himself to think about them and still be in his position. He couldn't serve in war knowing that he had to come home to his mothers, to his siblings. It would be too much for him. Therefore he blocked that part of his life out as soon as his helmet was placed upon his head. As soon as he entered the battlefield. Out there he couldn't be a son, a friend or a brother. He had to be a soldier.

Their pictures, notes and letters were placed in a metal box. Small enough to fit on the inside of his uniform, yet enough to give him the hope back when everything was as terrific as it was.   
When the helmet was off and when the bullets had stopped coming, he would look at the pictures of his family. His two younger sisters and his mother. Always finding himself turning the paper and reading what was on the other side.

Come back.

Will looked back at the girl.  
"I live with my mother and father. I also have two younger sisters."

She looked up at him.  
"I always wanted to have a sister," she snickered quietly. "I had two older brothers instead."

Will noticed the 'had', but didn't ask about it.   
Those words couldn't be an accident, could it?

And then- silence.

She glanced away, not knowing if she was uncomfortable or the oposite. He had his ways of making you open up. Just by standing there. Dangerous ways.

"Do you have anyone waiting for you back home?" William spoke before had time to rethink his choice of words.

Jo froze, more than a little startled.   
Knowing that his words came a little bit to nonchelantly for it to simply brush past her ears.

"I suppose not," her face suppressed the confusion building up inside. Did he mean to tell her something?

William looked away and wanted to mentally slap himself in the face. What kind of a question was that? He got the answer he was looking for, but felt slightly annoyed by his eager self to know.

Jo wondered if she would ask him the same, but decided against it.

Wondering if she would mind if he did have someone.

Something about it told her she would.


	9. 9. I don’t know

MARCH 29th  
1917  
Northern France

-

part 1  
two weeks earlier...

THERE WAS A CAMP set in between the small towns of Écoust and Amiens. It's trenches were filled with french soldiers. With mud on their dark blue clothes and dark rings under their eyes. Holding closely onto the ground as they laid ready on the edges of the land. Staring into the flat lands in front of them, rifles pointing towards the german front line so far away, yet so close.

It was scary silent. The wind brushed past their ears in an unsettling way. Leaving them bare, cold and afraid.

Standing behind the big dug up wall stood a woman. Her hair was just as messy and eyes glancing at the men. Almost glasslike in some manner, the pupils small and unfocused.

She was breathing silently, gripping hard onto her sleeved arm and pinching the skin beneath it. A read cross displayed on her upper arm and chest as well as a dirty white apron tied around her waist.

Josephine's feet kept threatening to collapse, but with her other arm wrapped around the wooden ladder leading up to the soldiers, she kept herself still.

A loud whistle reached her ears and soon enough, the men were running. Running as if death himself wasn't standing waiting for them.

Jo pressed her back against the barrier, unable to look at what was behind her. What she heard was enough. Enough for her to close her eyes and wish she wasn't there. Seconds went by and those seconds became long moments, yet the acts wouldn't stop.

She was just a child.

"Médicale!" 

She opened her voice at the distant yell. ’Medic’. That was her, that was something she had to do. She forced herself onto her two legs, the weight from her malnourished body pressing down on her weak feet.

One step at a time she moved towards the voice. It seemed to be coming from everywhere. The chaos that was constantly running and screaming around her, making it impossible for the young nurse to focus on what she was supposed to do.

"Infirmière!" the desperate yells continued. Nurses. They needed nurses.

But there were too many. And Josephine was too small. Just a girl and barely keeping herself from passing out on the could, blood stained ground.

Yet, she kept going.

Someone grabbed her arm. She turned her head and watched the face of a distressed soldier. 

"S'il vous plaît aidez-le," he begged her, nodding over at another man laying on the ground next to him. ’Please, help him.’

There was a wound on his forehead, causing blood to run down his face. His eyes were close, but by the slow rise and fall of his chest, she knew that he was alive. At least for the moment.

Jo bent her knees and got onto the ground. Her hands went to the bag hanging around her shoulder and opened it. She picked out a bandage roll and went to wrap it around the man's head. She inhaled sharply and let out a shaky breath, doing her best at wrapping the piece of fabric tightly against his cold skin.

"Monsieur," she breathed out, putting a hand against his cheek in an attempt to get him to wake up. "Monsieur, s'il vous plaît." ’Sir, please.’

His eyelids fluttered slightly. Jo couldn't hear her own voice over the loud noises coming from their surrounding. Yelling, gunshots.

When the darkbrown orbs of the soldier met Jo's, she looked around for the man that earlier caught her attention. She had to continue.

"Emmenez-le dans les tentes médicales," she said and the man nodded. ’Take him to the medical tents.’

She slowly got up and looked around. As soon as she stood as steady as she possibly could she started walking. She didn't come far, though, before getting knocked into an officer. He looked at her with an anxious look. 

Jo was not in the right mind to apologise and simply stared at the middle aged man with empty eyes, as if she was waiting for him to speak to her. And that was what he did-

"Nous avons plus de blessés venant de lá," he said loudly, nodding to their right and left before the girl had the chance or opportunity to react. ’We have more wounded coming from there.’

Jo replayed his words over and over in her head. There are more wounded. Blinking hard to keep her eyes open. She hadn't slept in days. But that's why she came here, wasn't it? She came here without the need. But why?

She stumbled upon bodies on the ground. The soldiers were falling into the trenches, dragging the others to people like her in hope that she could save them. She couldn't.  
Because most of them were already dead. 

Facea that were turning paler every second and eyes rolling into the back of their heads. It was a horrific sight, yet scary familiar.

She tried her best to help, but the situation made it close to impossible. She would bind bleedings, clean wounds and pick out bullets. The smell of blood imprinted on her skin. Displayed on her hands.  
They truly didn't feel like hers anymore. They did their job, their routine, while she could only watch and wait for them to be done. 

One man had a bit of his skull blown off, another had lost an arm. Faces were disfigured and arms were twisted.  
And the blood was everywhere.

Her instincts doing what they had been told for months, yet all she just wanted was to hide. Adrenaline rushing in her head and her surrounding becoming blurrier every second.

Being pushed and dragged by people passing by and by people that were in need of her help. And she did help them, but it was just so messed up. Everything. It was too much.

-

"Est-ce que tu vas bien?" a voice asked. ’Are you alright?’ 

Jo's eyes moved upwards and stared with an empty look at the person standing in front of her.

It was woman.

She had the same dark brown hair as her, with green eyes that had a wondering look in them. Jo didn't answer the question, but simply watched her as she got down on her knees, onto the same level.

She wasn't a nurse, at least not one like Jo herself. On top of her neatly styled hair was a cap and the dark gray dress she wore reached all the way to the ground. In her hand was a runned out cigarette which she casually drew to her thin mouth from time to time.

"Avez-vous besoin d'un médecin?" Jo blurred out in pure habit. ’Do you need a medic?’ The fact that she probably not even could get off the ground, yet alone help others never crossed her mind.

The woman furrowed her eyebrows and frowned, the dimples in her flushed cheeks deepening. A small smile then appeared. Yet, Jo could only think of it as a look of pity, and that was the last thing she wanted

"Non." No.

Jo stayed in her tense position. Her hands gripping hard onto the ground, still with her eyes laid upon the woman's face.  
She didn't smile back. It was as if she had forgotten how to, if that even was a thing.

"Je me demandais si tu allais bien?" ’I was wondering if you were alright?’ the woman continued patiently.

Jo blinked.  
"Oh."

Was she alright? Was that just one of those question you answer 'yes' to without thinking much? It was obvious, right? 

Long seconds went by.

"Je ne sais pas," her words came out as a whisper, barely even distinguishable.

’I don't know.’


	10. 10. Anyway

part 2

THE WOMAN'S NAME was Camille. She had arrived at the camp a couple days earlier and now worked there as a caregiver.

She was nice. Sometimes a bit too much. It was unknown territory to Jo, that sort of gentleness. But she enjoyed it, somehow in need for the soft affection given to her by the kind woman.

The rushing was over. Josephine didn't know who won this time, but she didn't care anymore. 'Winning' didn't mean anything regardless.  
Whatever that would happen to this war wasn't up to her. She could simply do her best in keeping those fighting for the Alliance alive and that was it.   
That was her duty and no more.

She sat on a barell. Her feet covered in mud after the cold rain that had swepped the french fields. The ends of her dress drained in dirt and her hands hard and swollen.

Her arms were wrapped around her body, trying to keep herself warm in the unregular and freezing weather. Sitting still and staring out into nowhere.

"Allez-vous y rester toute la journée?"

She turned to her side and watched as Camille slowly approached her. ’Are you just going to sit there all day?’

Jo didn't want to speak. Speaking to people never benefitted her anymore.

"C'est bien, chérie," Camille said, smiling softly. ’It's alright, honey.’

She put her hands behind her back and watched the young nurse silently. Jo had turned away her gaze once again. Breathing in the cold, fresh air slowly.

"Vous êtes trop jeune pour voir des choses comme ça," Camille spoke up again, catchiga Jo's attention. ’You are too young to see things like that'. 

She was talking about it all. The wounded, the victims, the death.

Jo's head turned towards the woman and a conflicted look appeared upon her face.   
As if Camille even romotely could unserstand Jo's feelings after barely just meeting her.

"Je suis venu ici parce que je le voulais," she said in an almost defensive tone.   
’I came here because I wanted to.’

"Oh, je sais que," Camille chuckled.   
’Oh, I know that.’ "Mais ce n'est pas ce que j'ai dit." But that's not what I said.

Jo remained silent.

"Quel âge as-tu maintenant?" ’How old are you now again?’ Camille's voice spoke up once again.

Jo hesitated, looking back into the empty landscapes. "J'ai dix-neuf ans."   
’I'm nineteen.’

Camille's eyes stared at Jo with almost a saddened look. As if she was thinking about something Jo didn't understand.

"Ce n'est pas beaucoup," she mumbled, tilting her head.

’That's not a lot.’

Jo pressed her lips together. Her eyebrows furrowing and exhaling roughly out her nose. Finding it hard to answer the words coming from the woman to her side.

Josephine was stubborn, but only because she had to. It wasn't easy to admit that you were wrong or that you made foolish mistakes in a world where mistakes caused your downfall, or worse; the downfall of others. 

"Peut-être," she mumbled, looking away. ’Perhaps.’

Silence, once again. It kept haunting her in all sort of ways since she had gotten there. You'd think that the quiet would be sooting in a world of war and bombings, but when the silence fell it was your horrific imagination time to reduplicate that terror you had experiance, but worse this time. You could never rest.

"Une fille comme toi n'appartient pas ici," Camille finally spoke up. ’A girl like you don't belong here.’

Jo didn't know if it was supposed to be well meaning, but she knew that whatever the woman tried didn't work for her.

Jo got up and stared at her. Exhaling sharply and her cheeks flushed in a tinted pink.

"Tu ne sais pas ce qui est bon pour moi," she snarled. ’You don't know what's good for me.’

Camille didn't react much. Without Jo ever admitting it, this only made it worse.

"Mon frère est mort pour la France." she continued. ’My brother died for France.’  
"Je ferais aussi bien de faire la même chose," Her nose scrunching up and her lip trembling. ’I might as well do the same.’

"Après je suis mort de toute façon."

’After this, I'm dead anyway.’

-

Jo wasn't mad at Camille. She had no reason to and being that would only be dumb. Even for her rational self.

The only reason she left after her last words were the built up feelings she had. They had to come out somehow anyway.

She shrugged and continiued.

The day was over and the sun was setting. It was a beautiful sight as the orange globe upon the sky, disappeared behind the faraway hills.  
No one noticed this, though. Even the young nurse was too deep into her own thoughts to notice the beauty among this unflattering place.

She let out a sigh. What did she do now?

It was a question she constantly kept asking herself. Day after day, yet still not getting an answer. Of course she was there for a reason and that reason did help her to keep going for certain moments, yet it didn't stop the wanting she had. The wanting to be more.

She didn't know what to do about it, so she let it be and instead found a way to distract herself.

Mostly wounded men had been either taken care of or sent home after the latest battle. Another useless result of the ignorant leaders of our countries. They were in a time where they had weapons like never before, methods and solutions, yet the men were dying every left and right. They were thinking wrong; using old tactics to solve modern problems.  
Everyone must know that, right?

All she could do was watch and do her best to help. Pathetic, but necesarry.

Josephine noticed two middle aged men in the near distance looking at her. They were both wearing those fancy gray corporal jackets and hats. By only watching them, Jo knew that they were important.

A wonder came up in her mind as she stared back, not caring if she came off as weird to them. And there she stood, her hand folded behind her back, nipping onto the piece of fabric that was her dress. It did become boring after only a short while and she left the men's sight soon later.

Not giving them anymore thought.

God, she wish she had.


End file.
